So College

Hi guys! In less than a month I’ll be leaving Japan and going home. Who knows where the time goes? College already seems like a lifetime ago, and now I am trying my best to enjoy the present instead of lamenting how Japan too will soon become just another memory!

shibuya at night. look at all the people in the dark waiting to cross the street! with all the neon to guide us.

This past week I met up with my old college professor for dinner. We met at Shibuya Station in front of the Hachiko dog statue, the meeting place for hoards of hip students. He could easily pass for a student so I worried I wouldn’t be able to find him. But we did! He’s everyone’s favorite Asian Studies/History professor who’s living in Japan right now (should be a no-brainer for all my college buddies hehe). I was so excited to see him because he wasn’t there last year, and now that I’m a grad, we could toast to ourselves with drinks! A geek to the core, that was very exciting to me. Kanpai! He took me to eat okonomiyaki in the back alleys of Shibuya, also very exciting. Lot of pachinko parlors and dubious little doors (and we went into one of them for dinner! so cool).

It was so good to see him and catch up! Amidst our reminiscing about college and pouring drinks for each other, he asked me what I wanted to DO. WITH. MY. LIFE. I gave myself a long, dramatic, self-indulgent pause. Which, as my professor pointed out, was pretty much an answer in itself. Oh geez. All that fancy liberal arts education to arrive at the same uncertainty that’s characteristic of all life anyway. However, as I waved goodbye and became just another four-foot-something girl in the crushing crowdedness of Shibuya’s subway station, I felt kind of hopeful: I physically carve out my own little four-foot-something space for myself every day. What’s stopping me from finding my own niche in LIFE!? I may have been kind of bleary from Shibuya’s sprawling neon landscape and/or the sake as I scurried away into the night and squeezed myself into the subway, but THAT WAS MY THOUGHT. Hopefully once I find my niche, it will be the awesomest four-foot-something niche you have ever seen. (P.S. Prof, if you’re reading this, thanks again for dinner and next time I’ll treat cuz it’s gonna be a rich niche! Mata ne!!!).

earlier in the week it was pouring! and the raindrops made the neon look kind of mystical. i thought so anyway.. it translates as "PLEASE WAIT." good things come to those who wait!

And keeping up with the college theme of the week, a couple days after I met up with my professor, a friend took me to his alma mater’s annual Fall Festival. He went to Keio University, and he explained to me that most big universities in Japan hold a campus-wide fair every fall. Keio’s Mita Festival was just SO COLLEGE. How else can I put it…the exhilarating earnestness…the winking juxtaposition of lofty — towering buildings that communicate “higher learning”– and lurid — hallways papered with flyers promising who-knows-what at party XYZ. Different clubs were trying to raise money and different awarenesses were trying to be raised. It took me back!  And before I start sounding like too much of an old lady, here are some pictures =)

all these booths were selling food for different clubs. can you see the octopus one? i tried octopus balls (tako-yaki) for the first time! they were sooooo good and made fresh by the students.

i also had some pig sooop lol so cute. and the illustration is hilarious. it tasted so homemade like the kind my dad makes. japan has a pretty serious food culture and i guess that extends to the younger kids too.

this was pretty intense. my school did NOT have this at our college fairs/festivals. they have a thai boxing club, karate club, etc. and they put on a show for all these bloodthirsty co-eds lol. look at the ref patting the guy down for weapons! also note the sweeping trees and the building's collegiate-looking arches in the background. SO COLLEGE.

This next video is of the school’s “Latin Club.” Many of the clubs had their own classroom like this where they offered various entertainments and foods or drinks. This one called their room “Cafe Latina” and sold tea and guacamole, salsa and chips. And then there were other rooms like the Filmmakers Club, where they showed student films (duh ;)), Tarot Club, Psychology Club, where you could get yourself analyzed with an intense and revealing looking color-coded “Character Test,” get your caricature drawn…so much! SO COLLEGE.

and then they were like, "and this is a poncho!" but mostly i just thought that guy was kinda cute hehe.

It was raining so hard the day before (see traffic light pic) but the weather was beautiful for the college fair. Classic autumn day! And then on another classic autumn day later that week, I went back to Shibuya while the sun was out to see if the neon made me hallucinate anything that wasn’t actually there. I wandered around for the longest time and walked past a nondescript run-down building. Along the wall, a glass case advertised what was in the building’s various floors. Weirdly enough, there were a lot of vintage used clothing stores, and in a grand advertising ploy I guess, one vintage shop showcased a tiara perched on a Malcolm X sweatshirt (MALCOLM X written in huge bold down the front) in the building entryway’s glass case. I was sold. I had to see this shop no matter how sketchy the building looked.

When I went in, I felt suffocated by the floor-to-ceiling plaid, metallic and denim. Down one aisle was a hipster and a humungous slouched-over Big Bird costume looped over on a chair. And it looked like they were having a face-off, each trying to see who had more vintage irony encoded in their similar postures. I have no idea. It was weird. I got to the end of the shop, and had to step over this mini rack of Star Wars shirts. I don’t know why they were hanging on a rack that was two feet tall! And once I got out, I was in a completely new street full of TONS of vintage clothing shops. I went into one at random and freaked out. I am pretty sure I made a noise but the hipster clerk at the front ignored me in classic hipster fashion. But I’m glad she did because then I could take THIS PICTURE!

nestled amongst used pointy shoes and the obligatory faded disney character was a vassar sweater. oh. my. stars. WHAT ARE THE CHANCES?! and were our school colors ever green??? i couldn't believe i saw this!! it was right at the entrance of the store. like VASSAR epitomized its whole aesthetic.

I went into a few more vintage shops and college sweaters seemed to be pretty popular, but they were all West Coast or Midwest schools that sounded vaguely made-up. Like San Diego Scarsdale. But anyway! I think no matter what I end up doing, it will be okay because everything is so connected. Like this week’s overriding theme: college. The connections are everywhere as long as I trust myself enough to let the connections run through me.

Whether I end up back in school: (mainly I made this video to prove to Mom and Dad that I am actually studying. Sometimes.)

Or, as I’m secretly hoping, I will discover a hidden talent like this guy at the Ramen Museum who was juggling crystal balls. It was so mesmerizing.

But in the meantime, I’m just happy to stuff my face. Here are OGFSs!! (obligatory gratuitous food shots 😉

my friend was like, "Here. Raw meat. You will try." and i did! totally thought it was gonna be gnarly. totally wasn't. it was so. good. so good! it tasted way more subtle and savory than cooked meat has ever tasted. i didn't take pictures of the other raw meat i ate like cow liver and some amalgamation (college word sup) of random raw meats. because those looked way more gnarly than this pretty pink chicken. sorry vegetarian friends.

the raw meat was so good, i thought "why would anyone want to COOK their meat and destroy it like that?" and then i ate these yakitori (individually skewered and grilled over charcoal meat sticks) and thought, "oh yeah. these are pretty good too." hehe. YUM!

Love from ME!

Kimonos and Carousels Part 2

Hello again! So today was the actual day of Shichi-Go-San. I went to Asakusa where there’s another cool temple. Since today was a weekday, there’s work and school during the day ==> not as many people celebrating as this past Sunday. However, I think the Asakusa Shichi-Go-San festivities stretch into the evening because the temple area was completely set up carnival-style with tons of little food booths! Luckily, they were already up and running for lunch. Yum! Which reminds me, the last post didn’t have OGFSs! This one will though. It all works out! This post will be mostly pictures; pictures from today and also more pictures from my Sunday trip to Meiji Jingu that I wanted to include in the last post but couldn’t flow in properly with my whole nostalgia spiel.

to the left and right are tons of food booths!

leading up to the temple, there were these booths where you can get your fortune. the little girl looks so cute and excited to get hers! (sorry my camera is old and it cannot handle certain brightnesses)

"WHETHER IN GOOD OR BAD FORTUNE, YOU SHOULD TENACIOUSLY DO YOUR BEST. YOU CAN CARVE OUT YOUR OWN FORTUNE."

there's the silver box you shake in the background. i got "fortune but finally." you might not get married, might get diseased, thwarted wanting, etc. BUT I CARVE OUT MY OWN FORTUNE! 😉

at one of the booths, there were these beautiful lollipops! i was so intrigued...they were sitting on ice and looked so juicy

and then i figured out why the lollipops were on ice! the outer shell is SOO sticky and sweet it would probably catch flies. but the inside fruit was tart (especially mine, i got ume--kind of like a sour plum!) for a nice combination!

bye bye asakusa! time to hop on my don draper carousel into the past....back to meiji jingu!

look familiar? hint: balloons =)

there was a shinto wedding going on at the same time! so beautiful! and solemn. rites of passage aboundingggg

this little girl was so cute she was watching the wedding procession go by with such rapt attention...almost reverential

you can write your wish and hang it amongst thousands of others from all around the world on these wooden blocks

hahaha reminded me of college; phrases like "the aesthetic of lostness"

bye bye meiji jingu!

And now OGFSs!!

when i was sick, my neighbor friend made me this!! chicken noodle soup japanese style hehehe

Kimonos and Carousels

“Memory…is an internal rumor.” –George Santayana

I love that quote. Not only because I’m a nostalgic fool, but because I’ve always felt that memories never stop whispering to each other, even when moments demand certainty out of us. Anything from a fleeting scent to a certain drift of light can be enough to stir our senses to the limit. Those dang internal rumors.

This Sunday I went to Meiji Shrine for Shichi-Go-San (which literally translates from Japanese into “Seven-five-three”). Odd numbers are considered lucky in Japanese numerology. Every November 15th in Japan, or on its nearest weekend, children ages seven, five and three dress up in traditional Japanese clothes — kimono (for girls) or hakama (for boys) — for what is usually the first time, and head for a shrine with their families to give thanks in hopes for a long and healthy life. It is a rite of passage of sorts. Once at the shrine, families take pictures and the children revel in their families’ love and cultural pride.

I really wanted to go because I remember doing Shichi-Go-San as a kid with my younger sister; two year age difference (we were three and five I think, or five and seven? So tiny anyway it’s hard to tell!), but we are more like twins. I did not expect to be sad at Shichi-Go-San, but amidst all the billions of photos being taken for the sake of anonymous future memories, my nostalgia took a bitter turn. I was reminded of this amazing scene from of Mad Men. Please double click and watch this on youtube! I promise it is worth it, and I’m sorry it wouldn’t embed properly : /.

My bad boy crush Don Draper sums it up so nicely! And dramatically of course. I don’t know if all the families at Meiji Jingu were using Kodak film (or if they were using film at all), but I do know that nearly everyone present at the crowded shrine had a camera. I should have known that nostalgia would make its subtle return. There were balloons. There were adorable kids and their doting families. And there I was all by myself. With just my memories. What can I say. They were very evocative balloons.

grandma used to hold my hand

grandpa would get us balloons

and they'd always inevitably fly off our wrists

count the cameras

And nostalgia has no mercy. You cannot lock away memories, they go round and round like a carousel 😉 Here is the first thing I saw as I started walking walking into the shrine’s forest.

WHOA deja vu. guess who these two reminded me of?

If you guessed someone like me and my sister, you are correct.

photographed and framed and saved and sent by family (thank you aunty!)

Here’s what I remember from our Shichi-Go-San photo session in Hawai`i:

– In the hair and makeup session, I was jealous of my sister for getting more fake hair than I did. I even asked for some, but they told me I had too much hair already!

– We were excited to wear lipstick.

– The photographer told me not to smile so big.

– My sister really had to pee.

– Maybe that’s why I was smiling so big. I guess I was sometimes wicked. But what child wasn’t?

And who really knows with memories? Those little details are ultimately overshadowed by a larger feeling. Memories are always in secret conference with each other and compound with the present; we work around them and grasp toward a center hoping to find their meaning. When we look at old pictures, we don’t necessarily remember how much we tired of the cameras.

When we look at old photos, our mind treads the path of familiarity, possibility, and loss. What we misremember or cannot remember in exact form, we gain in essence. That’s what I guess gives us nostalgia. Ok, I’m done philosophizing. I’ll leave that to my imaginary boyfriend Don Draper. And ahhhh, just this past week, WordPress emailed me about their latest photo feature: THE CAROUSEL. I kid you not! Their email subject: “Your memories take center stage with the New Photo Carousel.” But alas, such feats are still out of my tech range. Instead I’ll give you a pic of me right now…because memories aside, we must live in the PRESENT right!? Also, I think it’s hilarious how much I resemble my five or seven year old self. MWAH! Thank you for reading and hope it was memorable <3.

i still don't know what to do with all my hair. nothing much has changed!

Solid Gold

Hi everybody! I’m basically going to be bragging a lot in this post. My cousin is a major figure skating superstar and she was in Japan for a while to compete! She has been figure skating for pretty much all her life and this amazing figure skater from Japan needed a partner and he sought her out to be his partner for pair figure skating. And together they are on their way to World Championships to represent Japan! What can I say, fierceness runs in the family ;). I missed out on all the kinesthetic genes though hehe. Once when I visited her and her family in Boston, I went to train with her at MIT. I thought, ‘Hey I go to the gym, I can do it, it’ll be fun!’ But her training regimen absolutely killed me! On every single one of the weight machines, her trainer had to decrease my weight load by more than half of what my cousin was lifting…and I kind of couldn’t walk the next day.

and figure skating is so graceful like a butterfly!!!! stay tuned for a video!

Even though I trained with her, I had never actually seen her skate. Until now! We had a lot of fun hanging out in Tokyo and then I met up with her in Kyoto for the competition. I was so excited to see her skate for the first time. When I left my apartment, as I was closing up the sliding door, I saw a beautiful butterfly on the balcony sill. I took it as a good sign for my cousin and the trip in general. It didn’t even fly away and let me take its picture and lingered for a long while afterward.

And speaking of butterflies and delicate graceful things, don’t let the gracefulness of figure skating or the sparkly outfits fool you: you need to be super strong to do it. These guys are SERIOUS athletes. Just think of how hard it is to balance on one foot (it’s hard for me anyway). And add doing it on a sharp blade. On ice. While you’re gliding backwards. And spinning. And doing crazy lifts and positions with your partner and keeping it all in sync and graceful. Doyouknowhatimsayinnn! It’s tough stuff! This upcoming video is not even of their official number (I got busted for using my camera after this one wahh and didn’t want to risk sneaking more video and getting kicked out forever). It is just their practice for the judges – all sitting in front of their computers where they input their scores so it can flash up on the screen – before their official dance number. Before the dance numbers, each pair has the to run through the same practice routine for the judges (cuz, correct me if I’m wrong on any of this ok!).

They look so awesome together and my cousin is especially graceful! Their skating moves kind of defy all those physics laws of momentum etc in a way that makes it border on magical to watch. But it also borders on scary. Before the doubles competition, I watched the singles competition. Singles figure skating revolves around those crazy jump spins in the air. The whole audience just cringed when the skater would mess up a landing and take a pounding on the ice. They spin in the air and if they spun just half an angle too far to the left or right, they’d take a nasty fall. I always worried about them ending up on that sharp blade. Or breaking their neck/ankles; every muscle and nerve and fiber of your being (!) has to be in harmony with each other for a safe landing. I had cranberries with me (thank you Grandma!!), and started gnawing on them like crazy in anticipation of my cousin going on. I was so nervous for her. But she’s a pro, I should have had nothing to worry about.

waiting to go on last minute talk with the coach...the mist adds nicely to the drama of the moment--ANTICIPATION! ganbatte!

back in the hotel room! i got her a flower that they have in hawai`i! protea...love it! and i also love my fake leather jacket. forever 21 baby very cheap. ugh i gotta stop with the fake cheap leather jackets. before they all add up to cost as much as a real one!

The “short dance” competition meant that all the pairs had to use the same type of music in the same style: Latin. Their routine was so sensual and beautiful! I woohoo-ed excessively and cheered her name and got a lot of weird looks. I was my cousin’s one-person entourage ok! I needed to compensate somehow. Don’t hate! Most of the competitors had supporters in droves all dressed in huge down jackets and thermoses of soup for the day of competition. There was one part where they did a very difficult but effortless-looking move and came out through a mist on the ice and it looked SO romantic and dreamy. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time. We ate a lot of delicious rice and food to reward ourselves afterward. Reward for my cousin for skating her heart out and being amazing (they didn’t even come close to falling!). And reward for myself for um, I don’t know…not chewing my nails out from (unnecessary) nervousness?

And then the next day, it was the free dance competition, which meant they could dance any style with any type of music. We got to the Aquarena very early so my cousin and her partner could warm up and she could do her hair and makeup. I wasn’t as nervous to watch her but just as excited. They danced a combination of tango and waltz. Those are very complicated dances with very exacting step sequences and they nailed it! Every single back and forth and head toss and classy stomp! And they totally upped their lift game and special effects game (my skating terminology must be very off)…with the help of wikipedia, I think what I saw them do was “death spirals”? And those are as awesome as they sound. A lot of moves where they look like they are balancing on each other and dragging each other at the same time?! And flying?! The little boy sitting next to me was vocal about how impressed he was. With every amazing move they pulled off, he gasped, “Sugoi! Wa, SuGOI!!!” Which translates as “Awesome! Whoa! So AWESOME!” So that made me feel better about being the lone whoo-hoo-er. The people to the other side of me threw their bags to the seats behind me with a dramatic thud to show me they were going to move…away from me who was making too much noise, apparently. Why so uptight, mate? Hehehe. And it wasn’t like cheering was against the rules or something…it was fine when people cheered in large groups. But solo-cheering? Not so much. Interesting. Anyways, I made sure to restrict my cheering to the opening and ending. I have good manners after all, like a good Japanese citizen (re: previous post)!

I really thought their free dance performance was something special. The choreography just flowed and every move was so so breathtaking in its athleticism and elegance. Apparently, the little boy and I weren’t the only ones who were impressed with what we saw. When the results came up, drumroll please! My cousin and her partner came in first place! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

next stop nationals! then after that who knows?! look at her partner's gold medal glistening! YES

looking at their detailed score sheet with their coach...always room for improvement and perfection with these guys!

So they’re going to Nationals in December in Japan and hopefully after that Worlds and/or Olympics to represent Japan! Is Worlds the Olympics? Hello, language barrier! We shall see! Her Japanese coach was asking her, “So your great-grandmother came from Japan?” And I could see the wheels turning in his head to find a loophole for her to compete for Japan despite her American citizenship. But in any case, I am so proud of my amazing cousin and so happy that we saw each other in Japan. ❤ And that I got to finally see her sugoi skating talent! In Japan of all places. So cool. Now OGFSss.

cranberry soymilk donut! made with real cranberry! see the cranberry bits?! you can also see the little nibble i took in the dainty pretense that i wouldn't eat the whole thing. GUESS HOW THAT WORKED OUT!??! (it didn't. whole thing gone. one sitting). WHOO HOO!!!!! =)

Love from me!

Just Say No!

Hi guys! I went to Harajuku on Halloween. You all know Harajuku, right? Japan doesn’t really do the dressing-up-on-Halloween thing (but their Halloween decorations are so cute! See my Halloween post). But I thought if anywhere would give me a taste of how Halloween’s done back in the US, it’d be Harajuku.

Once I got there, though, everyone was dressed normal! I went into some amazing costume stores where I was tempted by some sparkly Vegas outfits, but no one was actually wearing a costume. However, I tore myself away from the costume stores and bought some other “normal” clothes. I was so thrilled with them that I had to make a video revolving around my purchases! You can interrogate my level of taste later. But reserve your harshest comments for never ok! 😉

I’m such a liar! “I might come back for it…” And yeah, buy it with money I don’t have! Don’t say America never taught me anything! Hehe. But in all fairness, my Japanese language teacher did tell us that when expressing negative sentiments or declining in Japanese, you do it in the most roundabout way possible. There’s this young guy from France in my class and he just cracks me up. He just doesn’t get it (but I’m right there with him most of the time!). He asked the teacher in his gloriously thick French accent, “But if I’m at the store, how do I say, ‘I don’t like both of these! Take them away I don’t want them! I’m going to the other store!'”

The teacher looked taken aback and said, “…Ahhh, hmm. Well in that case you would say, ‘Sumimasen…dochira mo…chotto…'” Which translates as, “I’m sooo sorry…both of them are just….too….just…” while you make your voice trail away in a farewell sigh of regret. So yes, trying on expensive stuff in the store is a big deal. You can’t just say NO when they help zip you up into the jacket that’s too tiny for you anyway, and you can’t just say NO after they’ve watched you admire yourself in the jacket you will not be able to afford until you win the lottery. In general I’ve always had to work on being better at saying NO! But in Japan it’s hard to say NO because of the roundabout language thing, AND when I take into consideration the fact that the biggest ad campaign in the subway system revolves around not safety, but politeness. Sorry for the glare on these pictures but I will type out their message.

"Please be aware that applying make-up on the train may be bothersome to others."

"Please be careful not to lean against the person sitting next to you should you fall asleep."

"Please be considerate of passengers around you when using your mobile phone."

And note how they convey their message not with some overbearing authority figure, but benign cute little animals. Every time I hop on or off the subway I am greeted by the kitty, the parakeets, or the guinea pig. They all want you to have good manners! But even that message was expressed in the most roundabout/polite way possible — cute animals to blunt the bossiness! Something I took away from all this emphasis on manners was (among other things, but Imma focus on the positive here) that asserting oneself need not be a strident declaration; it can be a delicate persuasion. If only I knew Japanese better.

But in any case, I’m glad I told MYSELF “No” on spending $2000 on a leather jacket that would be too small on me one and a half pounds later. Nothing but real talk with me (this can be read two ways I think; one of them is like me talking to myself GET IT!?). I did however spend $15 on delicious special udon; food is something that’s always worth the money in my opinion. Here are the OGFSss!

the nabeyaki udon was served boiling hot in this stone pot! i couldn't even get a proper picture at first the lens steamed up! SO worth burning my tongue for.

now this is when it cooled off and i messed it around. SO. GOOD.

I love you YES I do for reading this! x Oh, and P.S. When I got back from Harajuku, I went to the gym. And on my way back from the gym, I saw all these men dressed up as cavemen and they were running a marathon led by a man dressed up as a referee. Or maybe he was a referee? And he was training them? And then these salary-men guffawed at them while they exchanged Laffy Taffys. Halloween in Japan. Somehow that seems about right.

The Nameless

“…And your mind becomes almost visible            and you know there is nothing                                that is not mysterious. And that no moment            is less important than this moment.                      And that imprisonment is not possible.”                                                                                      — from “After Ritsos” by Malena Morlin (really beautifully sums up the feeling I have when I meditate!)

Hi Everyone! I loved this past Saturday. I know I am supposed to be grateful for every day, whether I loved it or not. I know that the Zen saying goes, “Every day is a good day.” Thanks to a certain Aikido sensei/Zen Master who is my dad, I never had to look far to reground myself in this bit of wisdom.

But it doesn’t always click. The koan “Every day is a good day” sounds simple enough, but more often than not, in the search for the nameless truth, it is actually names and labels that end up steering our point of view. So BAM! Existential doom.

The details are pervasive in the background. And how easy it is to mistake its teeming mass for substance, when we don’t know what it is to be still. I certainly don’t know how to be still. Whenever I freak out, my dad has to always give me the same advice: Sit. Meditate. I always take his advice but never meditate on my own accord. Usually I much prefer to console myself with the non-stop voices in my head and let them possess me and drive me INSANE. And then, like a nutcase, wonder why I can’t find a solution that was lasting or satisfying.

Without fail, when I took Dad’s advice and meditated I would feel worlds better. Rigid dualities gave way to endless possibility! I felt no compulsive need to stress-eat! I became physically incapable of whining! I saw God and she looked happy! But meditating for more than two days in a row was weirdly un-doable for me. I would not do it until the next time I reached my psychological wit’s end and absolutely needed to make that frantic phone call home. So as you can see, I am no great student of meditation.

Fast forward to this weekend! I got the chance to go to Engaku-Ji, a beautiful temple in Kamakura (where the daibutsu in the picture above is located!! that was a very crowded spot, unlike Engaku-Ji thank goodness!). Once every fall and every spring, the priests/monks hold a meditation session. I felt nervous and excited to go. I didn’t know what to expect. I don’t usually meditate for periods longer than 10 minutes and we would definitely be meditating for longer than that. I secretly feared that I would be incapable of the disciplined stillness and just crumble into the shapes of my deepest darkest demons.

loved this as soon as i saw it. all these temples/monk quarters tucked away in the mountains. if this doesn’t make you feel peaceful i don’t know what will!

But once I got there, my anxieties somehow transformed into consciousness. The beauty of Engaku-ji is so magnificent that consciousness feels like the only option that there ever was and ever will be. I felt like I had entered heaven. The weather was beautiful, sunny, clear and cool. The breeze seemed to push us along the path and we were greeted by the head priest’s youngest daughter who led us up to the temple where we would be meditating.

Once we were inside the priest’s house, I found a seat to listen to his talk. While we were waiting for the priest to start his talk, this kindly 90 year-old man gave me all these origami treasures he made! In that moment I felt so encouraged and happy even though my legs were already getting numb sitting on the floor. Note: one of the trying aspects of Zen meditation is the way we sit…your legs get unbearably numb in the way they are supposed to be crossed and you are not allowed to move! Just breathe deeply and quiet your mind. It was such a sweet gesture that seemed like the simplest purpose of humanity.

so cute! i will keep them forever!

cute duck pop-up thing! it made me so happy.

The priest looked like the Dalai Lama. It was so uncanny. His talk was completely in Japanese, and I tried to focus to understand as much as I could without getting too distracted by his resemblance to the Dalai Lama. His talk was about the September typhoon and how this fall the maple leaves could not change color (they’re usually red by this time) because of the salty winds. But, he emphasized, nature is not attached to any fixed sequence; the leaves continue to draw from a deeper source and live on in whatever way they can. There is an eternal life beyond form or color; the abundance of life in spite of whatever setbacks shows that all life can always access something vital. Even though the form is something different, form does not matter; name does not matter. Can we look beyond form and to that source for the same sustenance?

the leaves are all white with salt. but they are ALIVE! Every day is a good day. =)

the table at the front is where the priest gave his talk from; we sat on the green cushions

the dark area where the light is shining through on the left is where we meditated. if you look closely, you can see the pile of zabus (pillows) we use to meditate on.

After the talk, we went to another temple to do zazen, Japanese Zen meditation led by the priest’s monk son. Walking over, I felt oddly calm. All my nerves were gone because they were simply irrelevant. The origami, the talk, the sheer energy of the place worked wonders. The meditation went by so quickly. I actually wanted it to go on longer. My mind stopped churning nothing into something and just became as nothing as a vacant portal into an essence of space. In hindsight, I guess I will name that feeling as “amazing.” My legs got numb, but not all the way up to my butt in the danger-I-want-to-squirm-uncontrollably zone. I didn’t have to sneeze and no beads of sweat trickled down into any odd crevices. I was inspired to meditate all the time from now on. It was then time for lunch served and prepared by the monks.

The lunch revolved around simple dishes: rice, miso soup, tsukemono (pickled vegetables). And rice was the main star, as usual. In another stroke of luck, the rice, that is usually prepared with chestnuts which I am allergic to, was for this day prepared with gingko nuts, which I am completely fine with and happen to love! Every day is a good day; there’s so much to be grateful for! The whole meal was conducted in complete silence. Zenzen hanasenaiyo! (We couldn’t talk at all). Which was good because I have a very bad habit of waving my chopsticks around when I talk. It’s very bad manners in Japan and just kind of dangerous in general (you can poke your friend’s eye out etc). We would continue to be served bowl after bowl of rice/soup unless we communicated otherwise with hand gestures. We were instructed to save one piece of tsukemono for when they poured tea into one of our bowls at the end. We would use that piece to help scrub each dish/bowl clean with the tea and drink/eat up all the remaining scraps. That way not a grain of rice was wasted. And all the bowls looked sparkly and clean afterwards.

yum yum yum! stay tuned for the picture of the old-fashioned glorious apparatus they smoke this rice in!!!

After lunch, the priest’s son, the monk who led us in zazen, let us see the monks’ quarters and the temple that houses Buddha’s ashes. These areas were off-limits to the public and I count myself so very blessed to have gotten to experience all this.

the large door is always bolted, but the monks (and their special guests) go in and out of this little secret door

this is what the priest’s son was wearing. super cool. looks really big but on the person it looks very impressive and sturdy and beautiful.

monks’ sandals

ahhhhh! this is the amazing apparatus they use to smoke cook the rice!!!!! that’s why it tasted like so much more than rice. like holy grains of nirvana.

i love how from above one of the monk quarters, you can look down and see the monks farming. they grow all their own food!

As we walked back down the path, the priest’s son came up to me and said, “The way you sit is very beautiful. Kirei deshoo. Your meditation is just beautiful. Very beautiful.” WHOA. This is coming from a monk, the head priest’s son no less! And it’s not like he goes around singling out individuals. Or say things he doesn’t mean…he’s a monk after all and says what he means and means what he says. He radiated that sinewy power and peacefulness (you’d think that’s contradictory, right?) that only Zen people can. I was so honored — Dad! You would have been so proud! I was simply doing what I knew how to do: sit up straight, breathe, and strive for consciousness. I guess if I could name how I felt when he told me that, I would call it “sublime.”

So maybe the best way I can end this post (and it was a long one, thank you for reading!) is not with words but with pictures! Mata ne!

…ok, i know i said i would be quiet, but just had to point out…there were tons of beautiful spider webs all over…can you see the one in this picture? =)