Hello! I meant to put this post up right before I left Japan, but since I am a poor packer and was packing til the last minute, I forgot to do it! I’m already home, but here is the post!
homecoming! just before landing =)
This trip to Japan changed my life! I cannot believe that I initially did not want to come here. There were some personal reasons and there was also my inner perfectionist’s perpetual fear-mongering: what if I fail and I don’t do it right? What if that’s not what I’m supposed to do? The what if-ing was exhausting to sustain and would have paralyzed me for who knows how long. It was not the kind of life I wanted to have after graduation. Not a life driven by fear.
So I moved here! And when I decided to keep a blog, I thought of why I wanted to write. I didn’t know who was going to read it.
“Writing is…that oddest of anomalies:
an intimate letter to a stranger.” — Pico Iyer.
So whoever you are reading this, friends, family, strangers, thank you so much for reading! This trip has been such an adventure and I enjoyed writing and sharing pictures. In a way, I feel like I was writing to another stranger — an alienated part of myself. In my fearful habits, I kind of neglected spontaneity, joy, and bliss…all things I believe are in our true nature. To be kind of cheesy, I’m not a stranger to myself anymore! Each blog post served as a kind of a reminder to myself of what happens when I just LIVE. I don’t need a screen of fear to allow only certain parts of life to soak in, I can be open to ALL of it. And look at what happens when I do! (The following pics and explanations are things that could have easily been separate blog posts on their own, but here they are altogether =).
There were so many times where I was just in the right place at the right time.
like the time my friend was like, "Oh hey I have an extra ticket to an Eric Clapton concert, wanna come?" SURE! sold out at the budoukan.
And what are the chances of this: once on Japanese TV, they were having a special on how Uniqlo is taking over the world. I caught the part of the footage that showed one of my best friends from NY at her job in Uniqlo in NY! AHHHHHHH! Right place, right time!
and oh hey wanna go to an awesome digeridoo concert?...for the concert, we had to take off our shoes! i loved the ceiling...very beautiful listening experience. i got a cd!
digeridoos!
If I just trusted myself, I would end up where I wanted to be. Like the time my friends took me to their friend’s — Keiichi Baba–‘s art show. It was in an old gallery studio building in the backalleys of Ginza. We supported his friend and took part in the interactive parts of his art showing…we became a part of his art! It was so creative and I loved it. There were other artists with their own little exhibition rooms that we didn’t have time to see (we were headed to the digeridoo concert afterward) and I wanted to go back! There were lots of cool antique stores in the building too. I found my way back the following day ALL BY MYSELF. And I went back at night, when all my visual points of reference were kind of distorted. I was so proud of myself for finding it again, and had so much fun enjoying the other art works!
cool piece by keiichi baba
Living here I learned that you can live with joy every day. I finally realized that there are so many forces beyond my control, forces that are so vast and mysterious. I stopped trying to untie its knot of mystery and just LIVED in it to let life live through me. Previously, life would just kind of happen to me, and I’d take furious mental notes, judge, and analyze every perception or what I thought I perceived over and over again to create a narrative that would ultimately make myself miserable. Classic over-thinker. I just thought it was a characteristic of the human condition. I would classify events as good or bad, big or small, important or useless. But there is only life! Its moments are never too big or too small because life is constantly shifting and growing and changing.
organic farmer's market every saturday. i could walk to it in 7 minutes from my house! i loved meeting the farmers and i loved the cheap prices too lol. like this bunch of gorgeous vegetables were 500 yen...$5-$6...made delicious things
doesn't matter where you're going, but how present you are to enjoy the moment! like on journeys on the subway! unusually empty. usually it's PACKED! once it was so crowded i was standing up and my cheek was smashed against the back of this guy's business suit!
no special occasion, just getting tapas with host mama and friend!
I’ll admit it wasn’t all roses. Sometimes I felt like SUCH a hopeless. monolingual. American. Most human relationships consist of minds interacting with each other through words/language. But for relationships to truly thrive, I think there’s some deeper recognition that needs to go beyond just words. Like how when my parents first met they felt like they knew each other forever. Or how when I went to my best friend’s house for the first time, I was hit with an overwhelming sense of deja vu and comfort even though I had never seen it before. So even though my Japanese was fair at best, I am so grateful that people just liked me for who I was regardless. It was more of a feeling!
Tatoeba–For example. On the Saturday before I left, I had a going-away party. It was hosted by a beautiful lady who is like the queen of Japan (if Japan were ever to have a queen). She is so kind to me and pulled out all the stops for my going-away party. She held it at her house and hired the most famous sushi masters in Japan to make us sushi. WHAAAAAAAAAAAT. I didn’t know they were famous masters…my Japanese teachers, who were just as flabbergasted as I was at the whole event, had to point that out to me: these guys never do house calls. I sat at the head of the table and got served first. I was kind of tearing up and not just because of the divine deliciousness of the sushi.
we started off with this...ahh-maaaaazing.....salmon roe...ikura? i didn't even know what i was eating sometimes but it was ALL SO FRESH. fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh.
i took a bite of this, and was like, "WHOA. WHAT IS THIS? IT'S SO DELICIOUS" it was so melt in your mouth soft and creamy and subtle. and it was you know what? fish foie gras. i can't even. wow. so amazing. and fresh. did i say fresh?
he made everything fresh in front of us, including the wasabi!!! he ground/swirled the wasabi root thing, and the end product looked so freshly whipped! like cream! he had me taste some with my finger for my approval ahhhhh!
round one: can't name all of these but WOW. it was like eating fish gems.
wow wow wow wow. he could just put together the sushi with two light slaps of his hands. scoop out some rice and ~pack!pack!~ the sushi was made, perfectly shaped and balanced...not too much rice, not too much fish, not too much wasabi...AHHHH!
round two: there was some grilled eel i think? and grilled fish? so good. i tried with all my might to finish it all. and i succeeded. YUSSSSSSS.
I think they were saying something like, “Here’s how you could make this on your own at home!” Hahaha. Yes just like a master. I felt so grateful to the hostess and will always remember the experience. I always liked Maya Angelou’s quote, “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” I saw it on a poster in the library when I was very young and really internalized it; it helped me cope with all my allergies and stuff. I still love that quote and would like to add that sometimes there really is nothing to change, like Buddha says, “How wonderful! How wonderful! All things are perfect, exactly as they are.” On that note, it’s so good to be back home with my other `ohana =). Thank you for reading and whether I continue with this blog or not, I hope you enjoyed it! Here are some last Japan OGFSssssss.
on one of my last days i met up with an old college friend! (wow that makes me sound old haha) we went to this hawaiian restaurant and it wasn't "authentic," but it was SO GOOD. kalua pig and rice with an egg on top in a bi bim bap style sizzling black bowl (so it can get all crispy and delicious at the bottom). so amazing.
and then we went out for ice cream! or sorbet in my case =). you could choose up to three flavors and they neatly scoop it for you into a cup. they give you bits of delicious kobu (seaweed) on the side to cleanse your palette...i loved this touch (so japanese!). it brought out so many richnesses of each flavor. guava BAM! orange BAM!
Love, meeee ❤
P.S. WHOA I just published this on WordPress and nowadays every time you publish on wordpress they congratulate you on your __# of posts, and give you a quote about writing to help you keep going…look at which one I got! “My ideas usually come not at my desk writing but in the midst of living.” — Anais Nin — isn’t that crazy!!!! cool. yay. bye.
swoopingcurve 