“Memory…is an internal rumor.” –George Santayana
I love that quote. Not only because I’m a nostalgic fool, but because I’ve always felt that memories never stop whispering to each other, even when moments demand certainty out of us. Anything from a fleeting scent to a certain drift of light can be enough to stir our senses to the limit. Those dang internal rumors.
This Sunday I went to Meiji Shrine for Shichi-Go-San (which literally translates from Japanese into “Seven-five-three”). Odd numbers are considered lucky in Japanese numerology. Every November 15th in Japan, or on its nearest weekend, children ages seven, five and three dress up in traditional Japanese clothes — kimono (for girls) or hakama (for boys) — for what is usually the first time, and head for a shrine with their families to give thanks in hopes for a long and healthy life. It is a rite of passage of sorts. Once at the shrine, families take pictures and the children revel in their families’ love and cultural pride.
I really wanted to go because I remember doing Shichi-Go-San as a kid with my younger sister; two year age difference (we were three and five I think, or five and seven? So tiny anyway it’s hard to tell!), but we are more like twins. I did not expect to be sad at Shichi-Go-San, but amidst all the billions of photos being taken for the sake of anonymous future memories, my nostalgia took a bitter turn. I was reminded of this amazing scene from of Mad Men. Please double click and watch this on youtube! I promise it is worth it, and I’m sorry it wouldn’t embed properly : /.
My bad boy crush Don Draper sums it up so nicely! And dramatically of course. I don’t know if all the families at Meiji Jingu were using Kodak film (or if they were using film at all), but I do know that nearly everyone present at the crowded shrine had a camera. I should have known that nostalgia would make its subtle return. There were balloons. There were adorable kids and their doting families. And there I was all by myself. With just my memories. What can I say. They were very evocative balloons.
grandma used to hold my hand
grandpa would get us balloons
and they'd always inevitably fly off our wrists
count the cameras
And nostalgia has no mercy. You cannot lock away memories, they go round and round like a carousel 😉 Here is the first thing I saw as I started walking walking into the shrine’s forest.
WHOA deja vu. guess who these two reminded me of?
If you guessed someone like me and my sister, you are correct.
photographed and framed and saved and sent by family (thank you aunty!)
Here’s what I remember from our Shichi-Go-San photo session in Hawai`i:
– In the hair and makeup session, I was jealous of my sister for getting more fake hair than I did. I even asked for some, but they told me I had too much hair already!
– We were excited to wear lipstick.
– The photographer told me not to smile so big.
– My sister really had to pee.
– Maybe that’s why I was smiling so big. I guess I was sometimes wicked. But what child wasn’t?
And who really knows with memories? Those little details are ultimately overshadowed by a larger feeling. Memories are always in secret conference with each other and compound with the present; we work around them and grasp toward a center hoping to find their meaning. When we look at old pictures, we don’t necessarily remember how much we tired of the cameras.
When we look at old photos, our mind treads the path of familiarity, possibility, and loss. What we misremember or cannot remember in exact form, we gain in essence. That’s what I guess gives us nostalgia. Ok, I’m done philosophizing. I’ll leave that to my imaginary boyfriend Don Draper. And ahhhh, just this past week, WordPress emailed me about their latest photo feature: THE CAROUSEL. I kid you not! Their email subject: “Your memories take center stage with the New Photo Carousel.” But alas, such feats are still out of my tech range. Instead I’ll give you a pic of me right now…because memories aside, we must live in the PRESENT right!? Also, I think it’s hilarious how much I resemble my five or seven year old self. MWAH! Thank you for reading and hope it was memorable <3.
i still don't know what to do with all my hair. nothing much has changed!
swoopingcurve 